Top Ten Signs You Won't Win "Malaysian Idol"
courtesy of CBS's late show with David Letterman, edited by me!!

10. You dedicate "I Will Always Love You" to Tan Sri Dr. Samy Vellu

9. Backstage, people say, "Are you still here?"

8. North Korea says if you lose they'll stop producing enriched uranium

7. Your mother says, "You're okay, but I'm really a big fan of Daniel"

6. You were recently named the "Most Wanted Malaysian" by ISA

5. You've already appeared on another reality show -- "991"

4. Vegas gives you the same odds of winning it all as Malaysia's soccer team

3. You cancel your performance to stay home and watch "kopitiam"

2. Paul Moss beats you with the microphone stand

1. Your voice is muffled by the SARS mask